An innocent guy and a girl who wanted more
She was a rich girl, anyone would envy her fortune. She had a boyfriend, caring parents, big house lots of cars, in other words she didn’t lack earthly delights. She had everything that you and person like me would dream about. She spent summer time in Ibiza, chilled in Rio… often went skiing to beautiful places. But some day everything turned gray, she lost all the appetite for the things that could be bought for money. She felt alone, and it started to become more depressing. She felt lonely and unhappy. At that moment she realized that something had to be done, something that would alter ordinary course of her life.
There was a kid in the university, young innocent. She knew his secret… Sometimes, during the classes, boy would turn out completely pale, flying somewhere else as the time slowly passed in the class. The guy had strange eyes, enormously large, dark and gloomy – you could read all his life in the darkness of two pearls starring at you with incredible energy of sadness. But it wasn’t all like that; there were the times when guy would recover his conscience, sense of right and wrong. It was rare, but when it happened you could see incredible lust for life and pleasure of being alive. She knew his secret… Life for him was a game - He played it, he took joy. Everyday problems wouldn’t matter for him, he didn’t bother, and life was easy, full of surprises.
She was a perfect type, perfect child, caring and strong. Parents trusted her; she was brave and could stand for herself. She would never try drugs, would never drink too much – though her friends did, but she was stronger, she could - and she did say no. She would laugh and tell a joke, gossip, but in her heart sadness was the law. She expected more from this life, far more than what she already had. She would dream of what could happen, what would alter her everyday doldrums – she didn’t care how, why, she wanted to feel satisfied… happy.
Her boyfriend was a working type. Sure, you can imagine a bookworm sort, who finds sex to be a labor and seeks satisfaction in doing job. Yes he was a top executive manager; he could earn million in a day. He felt like a man, he had a loving girl waiting for him every day. He was successful in his job and actually enjoyed it. Life was a hard thing for him; he would always have those flashbacks into his teens, when he was left alone. Yes, he was an outcast, that’s what he was… No one wanted to be a friend with him; even his older brother would turn away, when he got embarrassed by bullies in front of a whole school. Usually no one took notice of his existence, but when somebody accidentally would mention him, he was in trouble. Life sucked at that age, but now he was gone through that. It was past, and he could delete it. He often thought how he would edit out unfortunate moments of his life. School had to be removed, and his mother. She was an evil daemon for him, he still fared her smell. Even though she was dying now, in some remote part of the city, in a dark room with a reading lamp shining like a torch in the hell - he would steel feel her cold gaze and pale white hands that used to touch him in uneasy places. Yes, she was a daemon, in her young ages her hair was all gold, she had a slander body, and appealing twist. Man loved her, and she loved them back. He didn’t care about her first child. He gave a birth right in the street, and she would never hold him till he was a bit older. But now, everything changed. Everyone got what they deserved. Once beautify face, now didn’t give any signs of life – and it made him feel happy. When he thought of her current state, he would smile and move joyfully. He had a caring girlfriend and he had big plans for the future.
She didn’t love him. It was a lie, their meeting and physical pull – it was all made up, she never felt anything for him. It was a fear, fear of staying alone that kept those two together. Sitting alone in her large room, she would often dream about crazy affairs. She made up characters, she made up stories and it made her feel content. Stories would rarely have sexual traits, but sometimes she felt like it and characters would love each other for the whole night. They would blend and mix; they would become color and sound. They would escape this dream world - But it was all imaginary, she couldn’t satisfy her lust with bad time stories – she wanted more…
Boy was an interesting type. He worked as a photographer in his spare time, enjoyed psychedelic music, took recreational drugs. But most of the time he was socializing with the people alike – community was weirdest, with diversity you have never heard of before. There was a Spanish guy; there was an Indian, Russian and American. They were all alike, dressing style was pretty eighties and they used to hang out in the darkest places of the city. Community was developing, new people joined in. Some took mushrooms, some used to smoke hash. Chemicals where rarely used, as the given society believed that all created by nature was good – and chemicals, they were not from god. Occasionally they would strike ecstasy, break legs dancing shit out of them, and that was it.
So, she knew his secret… She always dreamed of an adventure, and there it was, right in front of her. She just had to go for it. It was firs time when she gave him a call. It was a short conversation, with set phrases and predictable gestures. It was all settled know, she made a choice – incredible roller coaster was waiting for her, she sensed it with her whole body. Sometimes she would think about what would happen, and that would put her body to alarm. She would sigh and hold breath, just to overcome that sensation in her body. It would start in her stomach and crawl up right to her chest. Sometimes that made her laugh, but mostly she felt horny. And now, when the first step was taken she had nothing to lose. She already settled in her mind, that if she had to run away, disappear she would go for it. Dangerous affair, but she was pleased when she thought about an upcoming meeting.
They didn’t meet in the trendy restaurant. On the contrary, it was a little underground café that looked like a living room, where all the weird people usually took roots. She decided to play on his field, become like him – maybe understand his ways. When boy entered the basement, he still didn’t believe. He was amazed, how could a girl like that hit on him he didn’t know. She was so different, so nice. They set on the table under the staircase; there was a little table and a ragged cushion. Angels flew around the lamp and silence consumed both of them. And then there was an awkward touch and another, and he felt her warm hands going up and down his hand. Something warm started to grow inside him, awkward touch transformed into a gentle movement. Her eyes shone with ambient light. There was a daemon inside her, it was burning her from the inside - and it had to be released. Now he was relaxed, tension was gone and he felt home. For the first time in his life something was growing in his mind, taking roots and blossoming.
It was a cold touch of a night breeze that woke them up. Street was empty, houses seemed to be hunted - all dark and faceless; the light illuminated on the surface of the windows would craft thousands of creatures, figures of various shapes. It was a crazy world, it was an insane world. Cars would fly in a blink of an eye living a haze of red and white lights disappearing slowly in the cold air of the city. And there was a silence again, but he wasn’t that bad, he could sometimes even make her laugh. Apart from tongue-tied moments it all went smooth, even better than he would ever imagine.
Relationship followed. He would love her with his entire mind and devote his body to her. They were living a dream, it seemed as if it would never end – and they could go on loving each other forever. One day she left her parents house, without a word she took her luggage and moved to him. Invading his personal space, now they were connected forever, at least it seemed that way.
Year has passed, second one followed it, they were young and they had time to waste.
One day, something inside her was gone forever. It disappeared; she didn’t have a theory to explain it, neither did he. But he could feel the loss; he felt gloomy clouds gather around their life. It got worth and worth, she was bored again. She longed for more, she knew and wanted satisfaction.
He felt it, he was sure something was about to happen, something bad that would touch his life in a bad way. He stopped smoking, heavier drugs fogged his mind – he discovered better pills for soothing the pain. He called them by the name of the girl and he would hallucinate, imagine her face her smile her movement. I forgot to mention, girl long fled, she disappeared the moment boy started to give signs of insecurity. It wasn’t all good for the boy, drugs sucked his life out. He didn’t live no more. You could never see his huge dark eyes; they were gone, hidden under the veil of chemical pleasure. He would saunter along half-light alleys. He was a ghost he was a tree he was a dying man on the sidewalk.